Don’t Tax The Rich, Seriously

Just for the heck of it, I get daily eblasts from the White House. I find it amusing to see what kind of bunk they’re trying to sell to the public. The last five blasts have been dedicated to pushing the so-called Buffet Rule. All people making at least a million bucks a year would pay at least 30% of their earnings in taxes.

Accept for war, there is nothing that fires me up more than people wanting to tax the rich.

Lest you think I’m kidding around here, let me assure you: I’m completely serious. I know its hard to understand why somebody would want to defend the rich. Also, you should know that I’m not rich myself. I’m just a middle class accountant.

But let me ask you something. Are the rich not citizens as well? Do they not deserve the same protection from the law as everybody else? Doesn’t using the law to take nearly a third of their income turn the purpose of the law on its head? Does the law not exist to promote justice? Is theft just?

Before I go further, I want to be clear on one thing. When I refer to the rich in this article, I’m talking about people who make their money in private industry. Private business people become wealthy only when other people purchase their goods and services voluntarily. They get rich by solving problems and fulfilling desires.

On the other hand, you have individuals who get rich via government protection or subsidies. Think Wall Street. Think GM. Think Solaris. Think Lockheed Martin. I would say to go ahead and tax these people to the hilt. Accept, you can’t tax people who make their money from receiving taxes. You can only give them less tax money. By all means, we should give them less.

In fact, we should give them zero. I would even go so far as to demand all of the tax money that they’ve ever received back to be distributed amongst the population as reparations. But I digress.

We were discussing taking money from rich people who have earned their money honestly, on the market. Here is the interesting thing about the government taking money from rich people. It would actually be much more efficient, and better for the economy, if poor people simply broke into houses and robbed the rich. At least this way the money would go directly to those in need.

As it stands, tax money goes to support a huge army of bureaucrats. These government workers sit at desks and fill out paperwork. The studies show that only 1/3 to 1/4 of tax money actually makes it to beneficiaries of government programs. This is a huge waste of scarce resources.

Along the same lines, as counter intuitive as it sounds, taxing the rich immediately creates unemployment. Of course, this flies in the face of what we normally hear. Economists say that we should tax the rich to institute jobs programs. We can use the taxes for counter-cyclical economic policy. But it just doesn’t add up.

A rich person has money. They must spend it on something. If they spend it on a yacht, the money gets spent into private industry and creates private jobs. The average private industry wage, including benefits, is about $40,000 a year.

If the government taxes a rich person, the money also gets spent. However, in this case, the money provides a government job. The average annual salary for a government worker, including benefits, is roughly $70,000 per year.

It doesn’t take a PhD in economics to see that private spending creates more jobs. You lose 3/4 of an average private industry job every time you employ an average government worker. Even though it really sucks to see rich people happy (for some, not for me, I like to see everybody happy), we could clear up a lot of the current unemployment problem by just letting everybody keep all of their taxes.

Of course, some will argue that the rich are greedy misers. They’re in their mansions swimming in pools of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck. They don’t spend anything. They just hoard and hoard and do everything they can to keep the poor in misery.

This is a false perception. Almost all money is sitting in banks. In order for banks to stay open, they must lend out the money in their vaults. They are currently using most of their money to buy government bonds. This crowds out private investment and makes the economy worse.

If the rich don’t have their money in banks, they have it in investments. They’re buying stock and bonds. As long as this money isn’t going in to tax consuming businesses, like Wall Street Banks or General Motors, it is being invested in making the world a better place. Think Disneyland, Jamba Juice, Apple, Facebook, 1-800-Flowers, etc. How is this a bad thing?

Or perhaps you prefer that the money be spent on war planes to blow stuff up? How about we give a guy $2000 bucks a month to sit on his couch and play xbox all day? This way he won’t have to accept a real job, for fair pay, doing real, hard work. For shame!

For those of you out there who are still resentful of rich people, I have a solution. This isn’t copyrighted yet, so please, I beg of you, don’t steal this idea. I call this “Adam Pearson’s 20 Year Plan For Getting Rich”. Its a guaranteed formula for becoming a millionaire within 20 years. Anybody, and I mean anybody, can do it.

Don’t have kids. Don’t get married. If you have kids, either ignore them or abandon them. If you have a wife, either ignore her or leave her. Get two jobs. Work 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. Live in a studio apartment in the worst part of town. Buy no new clothes and no gadgets. Don’t eat out. Save all of your money. Do this for twenty years and you’ll be rich.

Doesn’t sound so great does it? Sounds pretty hard, huh? This is what a lot of rich people go through to get their money. I wouldn’t change places with them. Money isn’t that important to me. Neither would I deny anybody the fruits of their labor.

For the good of the economy, for the consistency of your ethics, and in the name of decency, stop trying to tax the rich. Unless, of coarse, they got rich on taxes. In that case, I say turn the water hose on them full blast and soak them to the bone.


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